Before I begin this post, I would like to make clear that what follows below is somewhat in jest, while most of it is also serious. I see paedocommunion as a serious error, and as the logical outcome of paedobaptism. We can be thankful that most of our paedobaptist brothers and sisters reject paedocommunion; but there is a growing movement of more consistent paedobaptists who are embracing it. Having said that, most of what I write is in concern, although some of what I write may not be necessarily true of all paedocommunionists. Just like paedobaptism, paedocommunion is not a monolithic movement.
YOU MIGHT BE A PAEDOCOMMUNIONIST IF...
(1) You think that breast milk is a sacrament.
(2) You think that our works mysteriously play into justification.
(3) You think that justification is a process.
(4) You think that the Holy Spirit does not blow mysteriously like the wind in regeneration, but rather that He can be predicted like the National Weather Service predicts the wind.
(5) You think that baptism doesn't really regenerate, er, uh, yes it does, in a manner of speaking.
(6) You have a strange affinity for Eastern Orthodoxy.
(7) You think that Roman Catholics and Eastern Orthodox are our brothers and sisters in Christ, just because they've been "baptized in the Name of the Trinity."
(8) You think that Norman Shepherd is a hero.
(9) Some of you say, "I hold to active obedience," and then redefine it.
(10) You are a consistent paedobaptist.
(11) Many of you are consistent theonomists.
(12) You are more epistemologically self-conscious, but deep down you see that the more consistent you are in your epistemology, the more you abandon biblical Christianity.
(13) You like to talk about "households" when it comes to baptism, but you strangely like to leave that out of the discussion when it comes to communion.
(14) You think that the Three Forms of Unity somehow support paedocommunion.
(15) You say, "See, at least one Reformer held to paedocommunion--look at Wolfgang Musculus!"
(16) You champion the fact that the pre-Reformers known as the Hussites were advocates of paedocommunion.
(17) You disregard the fact that none of the Reformed confessions (not one) embrace paedocommunion; all of the Reformed confessions reject paedocommunion, yet your cry is either "semper reformanda!" or "they don't really reject it!"
(18) You want to still be in the PCA or OPC and yet give communion to your babies anyways. (The PCA and OPC both do not allow their elders to administer communion to their "covenant children"; the OPC has decidedly rejected paedocommunion.)
(19) You think that your "presumed regenerate" children are in the household of faith, yet your unbelieving spouse (who, by the way, you're not sure is in the covenant or not) is a filthy heathen.
(20) You abandoned the regulative principle long ago.
(21) Your own subjective feelings of affection toward your children regulate your worship more than the regulative principle.