I was just thinking some sad thoughts for a while. I was thinking about how many of my former friends abandoned the faith; friends that I thought were my friends. I thought of a family member who abandoned the faith. Then I thought of how I even wondered if I am doing the right thing now, teaching Spanish full-time as opposed to teaching at a seminary. It is so different from what I thought I was going to do.
I got saddened and grieved. I was the only one up at night as I thought of these things. My wife and children were in bed.
But then I thought some more. It is by God's grace that I am still in the faith. It is His grace that I did not abandon the faith like my friends and family member did.
The Lord also has blessed me with a wife and children.
But I still thought about how things change so much. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I was still sad.
But praise to the God of all comfort.
A wonderful hymn came to mind. I have a copy of The Trinity Hymnal in my house (which I still need to bring back to my church).
I turned to page 600 and began reading. As I read, the tears flowed. I began praising God out of joy.
He leadeth me: O blessed thought
O words with heav'nly comfort fraught!
Whate'er I do, where'er I be,
still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.
Sometimes 'mid scenes of deepest gloom,
sometimes where Eden's bowers bloom
by waters calm, o'er troubled sea,
still 'tis His hand that leadeth me.
Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in mine,
nor ever murmur nor repine;
content, whatever lot I see,
since 'tis my God that leadeth me.
And when my task on earth is done,
when, by Thy grace, the vict'ry's won,
e'en death's cold wave I will not flee,
since God through Jordan leadeth me.
He leadeth me, He leadeth me, by His own hand He leadeth me:
His faithful foll'wer I would be, for by His hand He leadeth me.