I am once again glad to be a Calvinist.
As I type this, I have had quite an emotional roller-coaster ride today. Right now, my wife is staying overnight at the hospital. Today, she had the worst headache of all time in her life, and hasn't been able to keep any food down.
One doctor said it was "sinusitis" (first time I've heard of that). But she just called me and told me that her Kaiser doctor came to the hospital, and said her symptoms don't seem to be of "sinusitis," so he ordered an MRI.
Tonight, or early in the morning, my wife is going to have an MRI to determine what is going on. And I'm not going to be there, because I am home with the kids.
I am typically a worrier. I know our Lord tells us not to worry, because it doesn't add a single hour to our lives, or a single cubit to our height.
But I love my wife so much.
Or not enough.
I know I don't love God and Christ enough.
Lord, once again, I dare come before You, and beg You to have mercy on me, the unworthy sinner of sinners. I continue to take Your blessings for granted, and I take my salvation for granted. O Lord, forgive me again and again! Please have mercy on my wife this evening, the precious bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. I pray that You would be with her, even now. Please comfort her. Please grant her peace. Please grant me peace. Grant me peace to trust in You and Your wise and sovereign care. I know that everything happens, O Lord, because You have ordained it so. Help us to bow the knee to Your sovereign will. In Jesus' precious Name. Amen.