In honor of the fact that it is John Calvin's 500th birthday today (he must be getting pretty old by now), I thought it only fitting that all my fellow Calvinists celebrate who they are, in honor of the great French theologian. Here are 10 suggested ways to "enjoy your Christian liberty" on Calvin Day:
10. Try and find a French beer.
9. OK, then try a French wine.
8. Try some French cuisine . . . preferably some without the word "rat" somewhere in the name of the food.
7. Try a good French cigar.
6. OK, then try any kind of cigar.
5. Grow your beard like ZZ Top. It helps to do this by watching ZZ Top videos and cropping pictures of Calvin's face on top of the band members. You have only one day, so you'd better be pretty manly.
4. Learn Latin--fast--and then read Calvin's Institutes in Latin.
3. Go and play thumb wars with an Arminian. Tell them you're doing it of your own "free-will."
2. After you win in thumb wars with your Arminian friends, tell them it was predestined to happen anyways.
And, the #1 way you can celebrate John Calvin's birthday today is . . .
1. Limit your beer drinking and cigar smoking to the elect alone! Have fun figuring that one out. But, since we don't know who the elect are, we may as well make a universal offer to the party!!! :)